Rats and Snakes

Have you ever been to a farm as they burn out a field? The field catches fire and everything that had been living in the field starts to show. As the fire starts to burn out, all kinds of small animals make their way out of the field to escape the fire, and they all come out to the open spaces where they cannot hide behind the tall and bushy grass. They are exposed. The ones most common in farms are rats and snakes.

I will be using this analogy to talk about relationships. For the sake of my point, we’ll refer to our lives as the field, the animals as people in our lives and fire as a bad situation in our lives. I’ll also be referring to four types of people in our lives - Snakes, Rats, Cats and Dogs; it could be because I like dogs so much, but…

Snakes are people who don’t like you and would like to cause you pain or see you in pain. They will go out of their way to harm you and will rejoice to see you hurt. They don’t, usually, even pretend to like you unless it’s to cause you pain. The Rats are the sneaky ones, they hate you just as much as the snakes, or a little less, but will not show it. The cats are the ones who mind their business. They are not for you, but they aren’t against you either, they are really for themselves. Lastly, the dogs, they are your friends, they care about you.

Firstly, the snakes - they don’t even pretend with you, when they’re holding a knife you know to run because you know they don’t like you. They might have “valid” or mostly invalid reasons to hate you but they do. Some of their reason could be they want what you have and they believe you’re standing in their way. Or they blame you for something they lost or they just don’t like your face, whatever it is, they hate your guts. When you were younger, they used to bully you, laugh out loud when you got hurt, call you names etc. As you grow up they still call you names (lol) but they might try to get you fired, break up your marriage or other relationships. They tell everyone how much they can’t stand you and have a story to go with it. Needless to say, everyone has at least one of those in their field.

I had a boss at a previous job - she hated me! She would just say or do random mean things to me that some of the senior ladies called a meeting to find out why she hated me so much. She said she felt I didn’t respect her, they asked her why she thought that and she really didn’t have anything. It turned out we were on opposing spiritual sides, you can make out the rest. There’ve been others who looked like rats but were actually snakes. Some girl hated me, because I don’t say hi to people, so much that she did the most evil thing to me yet.  One even confessed to actually conspiring and setting me up to lose my child. The list goes on but my point is, it happens. There are snakes out there, for whatever reason, they hate us. Thank God for protecting me and you against most snake bites, either to heal the bites or to move the snakes out of my path. For that I really praise Him!

The rats! Like I said, they are sneaky, two faced, you name it. They will get close to you with the intention to either take from you or harm. They are the gossips, they lie, cheat, anything -  as a means to an end. They will never say anything bad to your face, they’d rather gossip about it. They are always trying to break up relationships, they can’t be in a peaceful place so they cause fights. They are always with snakes. Because snakes can’t really come close to you, they will send rats to do the damage; the snakes, then, eat from them… or them… either way, they have a twisted relationship with snakes that involves biting. Animal experts say that most times when snakes are in the house, they were coming after rats. Rats know how to come into your safe space undetected and open the way to make you vulnerable to snakes.  

Because I treasure friendships I had always been oblivious to rats; I thought people were what and who they said they were. I have been really hurt by rats because I didn’t see them coming. I’ve had people I thought were my closest friends turn out to be rats. The last three years have been the most educational in this regard. With my marriage firestorm, I had rats running out in droves. People I thoughts were friends, some relatives, would sit and, literally, plot with snakes.  I had some actively assist and cover up then come meet me and smile at me. More than the snakes that pulled the trigger, I was hurt by the rats, the accomplices, because we can always see a snake coming but not the rats. Needless to say, I am more cautious of rats than I am of snakes. Forgiving the snakes was really easy, I’m still in the process of forgiving the rats. Snakes can own up but rats will deny until they see that you have evidence, then the excuses come. I learned, though, that forgiveness is not for them but for me. I choose to forgive them because I can’t afford to stay bitter. If God forgave all my sins, who am I not to forgive a rat?

Cats are something else, you can’t stay mad at a cat. They are about themselves, they look out for number one. They will not harm you unless you’re messing with their stuff. If you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you. They always have better things to do, really, than get mad. They are in a convenience relationship with you, whether you know it or not - it’s not their problem. They’ll run your errand if it’s on their way. They are the friends who stay away from the fire. You tell them what someone else did to you, they tell you point blank, well, they did nothing to me. They do know how to deal with rats, but only if they’re hungry (it suits them), otherwise it’s not their business. They’ll go out with you if they didn’t have something better to do. Help you out if you’ll do something in return for them. They aren’t disloyal, they are just not loyal. They don’t make promises they might not keep. Unfortunately, most people in the world are cats. Everyone is looking to advance themselves, have what they want, when they want. It’s all about convenience. They, sadly, also reduce God to what suits them. If God says don’t fornicate and they're single and need some, then fornicate they will. Churches are full of cats. They come for the encouragement but once the pastor touches their studio, they move on to the next church or stay for the word they like. It’s sad when the cats are in a marriage, they leave as soon as the romance dies down, or the excitement is over.

As I grew up I realised 90% of my teenage friends were cats. And, I hate to admit that 70% of my friends are cats. They are there when I need them, but I should know that I owe them one. I’ve learned to bargain with my cat friends. I’ve made peace with the fact that they are with me for what they can get, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or a few rands. They’re there for me just the same. I honestly don’t mind them. I prefer them to rats and snakes and I’ve, ashamedly, settled for them. What I also like about cats is how they deal with rats. I have them mostly in my work environment, after you or they change jobs, you’re forgotten. I used to take it seriously but now I know they never promised me a lifetime friendships, so I move on to the next cat. I learned to not invest too much of my heart into cat relationships. I love them and pray for them, I wish them well and celebrate their successes like they’re my own. But I know they probably won’t do it for me, but I’m alright with that.

Dogs are angels on earth. They are your friend! They ride-or-die. They will give their lives for you. They are loyal and trusting. They will run into the fire to get you out. They will leave their comfort to sit with you, cry and eat ice cream, while vowing to avenge you. They fight your battles when you can’t. Clumsy as they may be sometimes, they are for you. Dogs will chase down the snake, rats even cats to protect you. I am sure you’ve heard a story of a heroic dog. They are the heroes everyone so desperately need. Sadly, in the world where everyone is looking out for number one, dogs are considered fools and are taken advantage of. Everyone needs at least one dog friend in their lives, besides their mother. They are the best, you know you can count on them. You can call them at any time to just talk.

I can count my dog friends on one hand, I’ve only told one that she is and how much I appreciate her. I was just reminiscing on the times she got into things for me. I remember her sweet face turn fierce in defence of me. No one has ever done that for me.  I pray I am the same to them. I pray they never lack anything. I pray one day the world would see they are the way to go. I pray more people will put aside their fears and love like dogs, uninhibited. I pray people would forgive and trust like dogs. I pray I am a dog friend to people. I strive daily to be more and more like these people. They are my role models. They give me hope in humanity. They help me look at people closely, because one of them might be a dog friend.