A couple of weeks ago I met an interesting old man,
interesting is an understatement. First he was the most intelligent and
engaging person I’ve ever had the honour to converse with. He seemed to
understand absolutely everything about anything, for the first time, I kept quiet
and just listened. The man was not only intelligent but wisdom came from every
word he spoke and I thought this man was too good to be true. I was already intrigued
so he sealed the deal by cassually mentioning that he had not one, not two but
three PHD’s, dude! I’m still dreaming of just one… he then started telling us
what he does and how he got to get the three different qualifications, it all
had to do with passion, and following his dreams and not allowing circumstances
to bring him down, instead they elevated him to the person he now is.
See, when we grow up we are indirectly conditioned to find
the ONE thing that we are good at and enjoy , we are groomed to cultivate it
and that will be our “calling”. That is all good and proper for those who find
that one thing, but what about us, what about people like me who at thirty something are
still not sure what that one thing is, because frankly we are good at a lot of
things and enjoy every single one of them. I have a lot of passions and if I have
to narrow it to five I’d say, literature, education, psychology, theatrical
arts (music, dance, drama),and planning / project management . I had to dig
deep and tried really hard to put those down because other things were popping up,
things like deco, fashion, the list can go on for days, the point is if you
were to put me into any of those fields id make a killing. That is what began
my 10 year adventure of finding out, what exactly was my “calling”.
I’m not the only one, I have a couple of friends who are
going through the same battle, some of them where wiser than I because they at
least picked one to qualify in, I on the other hand after been once bitten by
the evil “B.Com” was too scared to study the “wrong” thing so I waited. I have
one friend who qualified as a CA but she loves writing so much she wanted to
quit her job, she does love accounting but …writing… I have one who is
qualified as a fashion designer and has an Honours degree in marketing… but
music keeps knocking, One of has a battle between writing and music, some are
fortunate to have picked one and have the other as a hobby. There are a lot
more and all of them are brilliant.
Matthew 25:15-30 says it best, God gave each of us talents,
some five, some two and some only got one, so why are the rest of us trying to fit with the
one who got one. Can’t we use all the talents given to us? Why are we so
conditioned to only use one, I am tired of trying to figure out what is that one,
I’ve decided that like the Old doctor I met, I will use all five talents and
proudly stand before God and hear Him say, well done Good and Faithful servant.
I know it won’t be as easy as people with one or two, but I will work hard to
use all five gifts to the best of my ability and I won’t allow anyone to make
me shrink when the ask me the dreaded question “so, what do you do?” I will
boldly say: Well, where do I start … I’m a writing psychologist who does
performing art, teaches and if you need me to put something together for you…ill
do that too. Having one thing you specialize in is all good and dandy but I would
like to be allowed to be who I am and use all my gifts.
I FIND MYSELF
I find myself starting to write
But as the words begin to flow
I find myself going back to the beginning
Have I lost the innocence
I find myself reading every line
Is writing becoming commercial
I find myself criticizing my own work
Am I too worried with what people think
I find myself unable to proceed
To even put ink to paper
I find myself thinking beyond the here and now
Where words turn into images
I find myself worried about acceptance
Like writers are never criticised
I find myself being myself again
To comfortable to challenge myself
I find myself and don't like what I see in the mirror
A shadow of who I can be
I find myself at a point where a decision needs to be made
Stuck between possibility and the road everyone has travelled
I find myself starting to write
And the words begin
