Rats and Snakes

Have you ever been to a farm as they burn out a field? The field catches fire and everything that had been living in the field starts to show. As the fire starts to burn out, all kinds of small animals make their way out of the field to escape the fire, and they all come out to the open spaces where they cannot hide behind the tall and bushy grass. They are exposed. The ones most common in farms are rats and snakes.

I will be using this analogy to talk about relationships. For the sake of my point, we’ll refer to our lives as the field, the animals as people in our lives and fire as a bad situation in our lives. I’ll also be referring to four types of people in our lives - Snakes, Rats, Cats and Dogs; it could be because I like dogs so much, but…

Snakes are people who don’t like you and would like to cause you pain or see you in pain. They will go out of their way to harm you and will rejoice to see you hurt. They don’t, usually, even pretend to like you unless it’s to cause you pain. The Rats are the sneaky ones, they hate you just as much as the snakes, or a little less, but will not show it. The cats are the ones who mind their business. They are not for you, but they aren’t against you either, they are really for themselves. Lastly, the dogs, they are your friends, they care about you.

Firstly, the snakes - they don’t even pretend with you, when they’re holding a knife you know to run because you know they don’t like you. They might have “valid” or mostly invalid reasons to hate you but they do. Some of their reason could be they want what you have and they believe you’re standing in their way. Or they blame you for something they lost or they just don’t like your face, whatever it is, they hate your guts. When you were younger, they used to bully you, laugh out loud when you got hurt, call you names etc. As you grow up they still call you names (lol) but they might try to get you fired, break up your marriage or other relationships. They tell everyone how much they can’t stand you and have a story to go with it. Needless to say, everyone has at least one of those in their field.

I had a boss at a previous job - she hated me! She would just say or do random mean things to me that some of the senior ladies called a meeting to find out why she hated me so much. She said she felt I didn’t respect her, they asked her why she thought that and she really didn’t have anything. It turned out we were on opposing spiritual sides, you can make out the rest. There’ve been others who looked like rats but were actually snakes. Some girl hated me, because I don’t say hi to people, so much that she did the most evil thing to me yet.  One even confessed to actually conspiring and setting me up to lose my child. The list goes on but my point is, it happens. There are snakes out there, for whatever reason, they hate us. Thank God for protecting me and you against most snake bites, either to heal the bites or to move the snakes out of my path. For that I really praise Him!

The rats! Like I said, they are sneaky, two faced, you name it. They will get close to you with the intention to either take from you or harm. They are the gossips, they lie, cheat, anything -  as a means to an end. They will never say anything bad to your face, they’d rather gossip about it. They are always trying to break up relationships, they can’t be in a peaceful place so they cause fights. They are always with snakes. Because snakes can’t really come close to you, they will send rats to do the damage; the snakes, then, eat from them… or them… either way, they have a twisted relationship with snakes that involves biting. Animal experts say that most times when snakes are in the house, they were coming after rats. Rats know how to come into your safe space undetected and open the way to make you vulnerable to snakes.  

Because I treasure friendships I had always been oblivious to rats; I thought people were what and who they said they were. I have been really hurt by rats because I didn’t see them coming. I’ve had people I thought were my closest friends turn out to be rats. The last three years have been the most educational in this regard. With my marriage firestorm, I had rats running out in droves. People I thoughts were friends, some relatives, would sit and, literally, plot with snakes.  I had some actively assist and cover up then come meet me and smile at me. More than the snakes that pulled the trigger, I was hurt by the rats, the accomplices, because we can always see a snake coming but not the rats. Needless to say, I am more cautious of rats than I am of snakes. Forgiving the snakes was really easy, I’m still in the process of forgiving the rats. Snakes can own up but rats will deny until they see that you have evidence, then the excuses come. I learned, though, that forgiveness is not for them but for me. I choose to forgive them because I can’t afford to stay bitter. If God forgave all my sins, who am I not to forgive a rat?

Cats are something else, you can’t stay mad at a cat. They are about themselves, they look out for number one. They will not harm you unless you’re messing with their stuff. If you don’t mess with them, they won’t mess with you. They always have better things to do, really, than get mad. They are in a convenience relationship with you, whether you know it or not - it’s not their problem. They’ll run your errand if it’s on their way. They are the friends who stay away from the fire. You tell them what someone else did to you, they tell you point blank, well, they did nothing to me. They do know how to deal with rats, but only if they’re hungry (it suits them), otherwise it’s not their business. They’ll go out with you if they didn’t have something better to do. Help you out if you’ll do something in return for them. They aren’t disloyal, they are just not loyal. They don’t make promises they might not keep. Unfortunately, most people in the world are cats. Everyone is looking to advance themselves, have what they want, when they want. It’s all about convenience. They, sadly, also reduce God to what suits them. If God says don’t fornicate and they're single and need some, then fornicate they will. Churches are full of cats. They come for the encouragement but once the pastor touches their studio, they move on to the next church or stay for the word they like. It’s sad when the cats are in a marriage, they leave as soon as the romance dies down, or the excitement is over.

As I grew up I realised 90% of my teenage friends were cats. And, I hate to admit that 70% of my friends are cats. They are there when I need them, but I should know that I owe them one. I’ve learned to bargain with my cat friends. I’ve made peace with the fact that they are with me for what they can get, whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or a few rands. They’re there for me just the same. I honestly don’t mind them. I prefer them to rats and snakes and I’ve, ashamedly, settled for them. What I also like about cats is how they deal with rats. I have them mostly in my work environment, after you or they change jobs, you’re forgotten. I used to take it seriously but now I know they never promised me a lifetime friendships, so I move on to the next cat. I learned to not invest too much of my heart into cat relationships. I love them and pray for them, I wish them well and celebrate their successes like they’re my own. But I know they probably won’t do it for me, but I’m alright with that.

Dogs are angels on earth. They are your friend! They ride-or-die. They will give their lives for you. They are loyal and trusting. They will run into the fire to get you out. They will leave their comfort to sit with you, cry and eat ice cream, while vowing to avenge you. They fight your battles when you can’t. Clumsy as they may be sometimes, they are for you. Dogs will chase down the snake, rats even cats to protect you. I am sure you’ve heard a story of a heroic dog. They are the heroes everyone so desperately need. Sadly, in the world where everyone is looking out for number one, dogs are considered fools and are taken advantage of. Everyone needs at least one dog friend in their lives, besides their mother. They are the best, you know you can count on them. You can call them at any time to just talk.

I can count my dog friends on one hand, I’ve only told one that she is and how much I appreciate her. I was just reminiscing on the times she got into things for me. I remember her sweet face turn fierce in defence of me. No one has ever done that for me.  I pray I am the same to them. I pray they never lack anything. I pray one day the world would see they are the way to go. I pray more people will put aside their fears and love like dogs, uninhibited. I pray people would forgive and trust like dogs. I pray I am a dog friend to people. I strive daily to be more and more like these people. They are my role models. They give me hope in humanity. They help me look at people closely, because one of them might be a dog friend.

Know Thy Self

Sometime ago my husband posted on social media that the best thing one could ever do is know oneself. He got a bit of a rebuke from well-meaning saints for it but I, of course, defended him as his wife. I had no idea where his heart was when he said that but I knew it meant something to me. To a lot of people knowing yourself is considered self-centred because of the vain world we are living in.  I do not blame them for thinking that because so many of us are so preoccupied with ourselves that we fail to see our dying world. People are so into self-gratification; I am thankful that in the midst of all that I managed to see this in a different light. What his post meant to me was that knowing who you are is more than just knowing your composition but your capabilities in line with your purpose and calling.

As I was reading the book of Mark - Chapter 4 to be exact - Jesus had just gone through the toughest time of his life to date. From scripture we know our Saviour enjoyed His food, some religious people even called Him a glutton (Luke7:34). He had just finished fasting for 40 days so you can imagine how He must have been feeling. Just then the enemy took the opportunity to tempt Him. The enemy does that to all of us, he will come at our lowest moments to offer us what seems to be the easy way out. It takes knowing who you are to be able to resist the allure; it takes knowing your purpose to choose life.

Satan’s first test questioned Jesus’ very identity. The enemy  questioned His sonship - “if you’re truly the Son of God...”. Satan will bring to us self-doubt - “are you really?”,  "are you really God’s daughter?", "are you really saved?", "are you really the head and not the tail?", "are you really beautiful?", "are you really worthy?", "can you really do that?".  When we don’t know who we are anyone can tell us anything about us and we will easily believe it. When we don’t know whose we are we lack a sense of belonging and we can become selfish and seek to gratify our temporary needs. Because Jesus knew who He was and whose He was, He was able to resist the temptation to gratify Himself by turning stones into bread. He was not impulsive; He knew He couldn’t satisfy His hunger with just anything.  He knew that what He needed could not be fixed by bread alone. When you know yourself you don’t consume everything that comes your way; you know what you need to consume to be a better you. You know that another glass of wine will not satisfy your real hunger; another boyfriend will not truly hit the spot. You choose what you listen to and watch more purposefully, knowing that there is something bigger and more that you need and you refuse to settle for just anything.

His second test was purpose. What the enemy wants more than anything is to keep you from what God wants you to do - your purpose. Our purpose in life is to worship God. We worship Him through our time, treasure and talents. Where we apply those three things determines where our hearts are (Matthew 6:21). The enemy offered Jesus all power, fame and riches that the world had to offer in exchange for compromise. Jesus had to merely bow and worship and all the power, money and fame in the world would be His. How many of us have been asked to compromise for any of the above;  give a little bribe and you’ll get that tender (money), sex sells records  (fame), betray someone and you’ll get that position (power)? There are many ways we have been given the opportunity to bow for the three. When we don’t know our purpose we can easily fall for anything. It’s easy to compromise when you don’t have a firm grip on what you’re doing. It’s easy to want what someone else has when you don’t know what you should have. Envy, covetousness and jealousy can easily rule those who don’t know their portion in life.  When we don’t know what our purpose is we so easily surrender to every wave that pushes us along. We can invest out time, treasure and talent anywhere because we don’t know what we’re supposed to do with it; we don’t know what and who we’re supposed to pursue so we pursue anything and anyone who is available. It could be a career, a relationship, status, whatever it is; our pursuit of it is our worship and the reward of fame, power or fortune is what satan offers us in return. This brings only destruction instead of joy because you’re not in your purpose. Jesus knew what His purpose was - to worship God and Him alone, so he never compromised.

The third one was security and value.  “ If you’re the Son of God throw yourself down, the angels will catch you”.  What is your value?  Satan wants us to question God’s love for us and His promises to us. When we go through hard times it’s easy to wonder - am I really loved, do these people or God appreciate what I do, if so then why am I broke right now, why am I alone, how come I'm sick? Satan wanted Jesus to question God’s integrity and Jesus' value to God. Would He catch Him if He fell, did He really love Him? Jesus had to be so secure in His value to God that He didn’t need to test it. Are you secure in fact that you are loved, cared for and in your provision?  Jesus knew who He was to God, He was secure in God’s love and that helped Him even when He was on the cross feeling rejected by God for the first time. He stayed steadfast in the knowledge that His father loved Him and His promises are true; that He would be back and healed in three days; that He would be seated with His father soon. When we know our value we are willing to wait for the right prize, we don’t sell ourselves short. We will wait for the right husband to come, we will stay faithful in our current positions until the right opportunity at the right time comes. We will know to wait for our provision because it is on its way. We will know that how people treat us is not a reflection of us but of them. We would be more gracious towards ourselves when we make mistakes because we know we are capable of better.

In light of the message, who are You? Do you know who you are, whose you are, why you are and what your value is? Once you know that life on this earth will be much better for you.  When you know who you are you will not settle; when you know why you are you will not compromise and when you know your value you will find security. A lot of us have gone through the questioning, some got the answer others didn’t.  One thing I can promise is if you want to know about anything the best place to go is to the manufacturer. If you’re still searching I can only show you to your Maker. He knows who you are, why He made you and what you’re worth. God knows. If you want to know ask Him. If you’re still struggling to communicate to the Manufacturer directly, consult the manual - His Holy Bible. As you spend time in His word, you’ll be able to hear His still small voice and He will guide you in the small decisions you make. Then you will know thyself.

Discern the Body

 Over a month ago I found out that I am pregnant with my first child; so recently I went to see my gynaecologist to check up on the baby to see how he/she is doing. While he was looking at the baby, he noticed a little growth that was very small last year and has now grown a little bit. He reassured me that it’s nowhere near the baby and that the baby will be fine. That little experience led me to think about the Body of Christ, as - according 1 Corinthians 12 - we are all parts of the Body which is the Church. I got to thinking that, just like my body, the Body of Christ also gets invaded by viruses, strange and unwanted pimples and growths, some cancerous others not.

 I believe some of us have come across these bodily imperfections, the church gossip who sows discord amongst people, the lady who’s always trying to seduce people’s husbands, that grumpy old man who has a problem with absolutely everything, bad mouthing the pastor and threatening to leave and that young guy who’s trying to manipulate naive girls and lead them to sexual sin. Every active church has at least one of these, whatever form they come in. Naturally, we’d like to rid the House of God of these people once and for all, but God has a different plan as Jesus says in the parable in Matthew 13:24-30 and explains in verses 36-43, God has no intentions of “getting rid” of the weeds in our garden, He plans to let them grow with us until harvest time, long story short - the impurities will always be with us, the bad growths, the pimples, all of them. They will grow in the Body, some even attach to our blood system, feed off the Body and become a part of our Body. Deal with it! 

A lot of young women get caught  in that trap. A lot of us have fallen for that young guy who was attached to the body, fed off the Church’s blood system grew in the Church with the rest of us, but was actually a growth or a pimple in the Body of Christ. His intention was never to make the body function better but to break down some organs. He comes to a girl, uses spiritual jargon even prays in tongues. You are convinced he’s the one and fall for him. He begins subtly moving you away from the word and leadership then one day  you look up and find yourself so far from your life source. Some play the part until one day you realize he’s been habitually unfaithful or abusive, then you run to the world and say, “church guys are just as bad as worldly guys”. Scorned, young ladies have said that to me so many times after a failed relationship with a “church guy” that I thought I would take the time to address this little issue.

Firstly, as the growth example I made - not every guy in the church is a part of the body, some grow up in the body but their hearts are not for the advancement of the church, they have been sent by the enemy to kill, steal and destroy, some do not even know the damage they are causing to the church with their actions. So girls, it is up to you to discern the Body. You need to spend so much time with God that He will show you when a guy is not part of the Body but only a pimple (temporary, only came to pick up church chicks), a growth (attached to the body to hurt the church, the one who has a form of godliness, but not much) or if he is a member of the body - sold out to the work of Christ for real not just as an act to impress people.  Jesus says that if you abide in Him He will abide in you. In Psalm 37:4 He says that if you delight in Him He will give you the desires of your heart. So if you abide in Him and Him in you, you will know His heart for you, and He will give you what you desire; He won’t give you an ugly, nasty guy. He created you, He knows what you need. That is my answer to all those girls. Ask Him, He’ll show you the right guy and shield you from the wrong ones.

This is not to put fear in you but to encourage you to seek God when it comes to relationships because the enemy does not want you to be happily married. The cherry on top is - when you’re sure the relationship you’re in is of God, you won’t be moved by storms because you will know they are temporary. Even in marriage, when things get “tough”, you’ll hold on to God’s promise. You’ll rest in the knowledge that the marriage belongs to God and He will grow it to His perfect plan, which is better than you can ever imagine. My point is, no guy in the world is meant for a Child of God; “do not be unequally yoked” and not all guys in church are for you either. Take your single years to abide in the one who made your husband and He’ll show him to you.

CATCH ME

February is called a Month of Love, romantic love. So for this month I decided to take time to find out what men wanted in a woman, to make sure I got THE I interviewed two of my close guy friend on what makes them interested in women and what makes them want to run. As though they rehearsed it, they both said they hated it is a girl came on too strong. One said it scared him, it makes him wonder what she’s hiding and that he likes it if a girl makes him work to get her. The other admitted that even if the girl likes him, it’s nice to think that he liked her first and that it was his idea or pursuit that got them together. Long story short, guys like girls who aren't that into them, at least pretend you’re not. Basically desperate is not sexy.  

 On Valentine’s Day we had a talk with some young people on relationships. While we were talking one guy asked, why are girls so desperate? For a minute I was offended. But eventually I admitted to myself that somehow it was true.  He further said, even the smartest girls act stupid when they fall for a guy, and they seem to fall for the worst of guys or worse, guys who are not interested. Those really got me thinking about the truth of it, and wondered why it is so. Firstly I did not get the answer to that question and I am open to hear what you ladies think. If guys want us to play hard-to-get, and we know it well, why do we always find ourselves chasing. Why are we so afraid to just sit back and let him chase us or better yet find us? It seems we forget that we are the good thing. Why do we keep treating men like they are the price when we are, when the Bible in Proverbs 18:22 clearly says they obtain favour from God because they have us?

My heart really cries out for millions of girls around the world who have not found this truth or have found it but are unable to live it because they have been taught wrong for all their lives that they can’t imagine themselves as worth anything. If God treasures us so much… why don’t we? I want to help,  so one way i thought i could is wirk on the bird-eye-view approach. I hope that if a smart girl takes a bird eye view of her mistakes, she will get perspective and make better decisions. I thought I’d take a chance at humour and wrote this prose, as extreme and exaggerated  as it is, I hope some ladies would see themselves in it and in doing that, they would be able to make more rational decision when it comes to love, for the rest, I hope it makes you laugh or at least smile.

Obsessed

Chasing after him hoping he’d CATCH ME

Throwing myself at him, why won’t he CATCH ME?

Telling my girls I’m too much of a lady to chase

But my huffing is telling, exposing that is not the case.

Holding on to flowers I wish he bought, he loves me, he loves me NOT.

He must CATCH ME, maybe it’s my skin tone, pass the makeup, and let me adjust my face.

Because I know that my figure in right, my weave is tight and I got legs for days…

Heard he likes the colour blue, I wore that from top to shoe, took up sports just for you.

Running, tripping, scraping my knee, I’m hurting, but I can’t give up the chase

If he catches another I protest because I believe he’s mine all I need is one gaze.

Still obsessed

Passive aggressive if I push any harder I could lose my swagger

Stay calm girl, you’ll see, he will eventually acknowledge that you’re the treasure

Call HER names, hate HER guts, SHE stole what I was mine, what does he see in HER.

Imagine the pain I felt when I saw that invite in my face, left me with a bitter taste

 Said you were “in-love” and SHE you will wed?  

I made up mind to be at the ceremony, my objective:  to object.

Ten ways to break that ‘ish up is my project

Mission: Divide and concur his heart.

That can’t Be hard. besides Its HER fault He can not CATCH ME.

Don’t call me obsessed

Rounded up my crew, where my girls at.

My reasonable friends say I should forget him I’m insane?

Insane? No, Insane is he does not feel the same

After some real talk with my girls and I’m glad they came.

Questioning the origin of this mess, laying on my bed crying, realizing

 how my life I was wasting and that to myself I was lying

The obsession with this man was so unlike me, He never loved me

And Though I gave a good case, I guess he didn't CATCH ME. 

SOMETHING BLUE

Have you ever wanted something really bad? Convinced that that is it and you will never want anything else that, you'd put it on everything.Whether it is a spouse, a career or something as simple as a dress.

We sometimes make commitments we are sure are from God, but then something comes along to derail us form God's destiny in our lives. it is like buying one brand of chocolate then after you've paid feel maybe you should have gotten something else... 

 

Well, that is because gold worth keeping will have to go through fire to confirm its authenticity , any decision we make will be tested. We've all been there in one way or another. Here's a poem I wrote about that a couple of months ago after I made one of the biggest decisions in my life.  It is about commitment and having to stick to it, regardless of other offers or sidetracks which come along in life "Something blue" 

SOMETHING BLUE

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

I know made my choice, the day I said that I do.

Something strange, something fresh, like tomorrow something new

this mind is cluttered with thoughts you?

Something else was in mind, I did not even order that shade

You saw the stale of my old, How else would you dare offer to trade?

What you present is enticing, how did you guess what i craved was that?

What is it that you possess, thieve of attention, so that pride I forget?

Maybe we can play make-believe and pretend for only a time or two

That for that moment you were mine and I belonged to you.

Or maybe steal a day off-time to test the realness

Of the chemistry that evolved from absolute nothingness.

Is there a need to be in reality?

Should I entirely let go of  fantasy

Because it would never happen for the life of me

That I could be she and you  him be.

So for me there’ll be nothing new, only blue

Because I made my choice when I said I do.

GIFTED

A couple of weeks ago I met an interesting old man, interesting is an understatement. First he was the most intelligent and engaging person I’ve ever had the honour to converse with. He seemed to understand absolutely everything about anything, for the first time, I kept quiet and just listened. The man was not only intelligent but wisdom came from every word he spoke and I thought this man was too good to be true. I was already intrigued so he sealed the deal  by cassually mentioning that he had not one, not two but three PHD’s, dude! I’m still dreaming of just one… he then started telling us what he does and how he got to get the three different qualifications, it all had to do with passion, and following his dreams and not allowing circumstances to bring him down, instead they elevated him to the person he now is.

See, when we grow up we are indirectly conditioned to find the ONE thing that we are good at and enjoy , we are groomed to cultivate it and that will be our “calling”. That is all good and proper for those who find that one thing, but what about us, what about people like me who at thirty something are still not sure what that one thing is, because frankly we are good at a lot of things and enjoy every single one of them. I have a lot of passions and if I have to narrow it to five I’d say, literature, education, psychology, theatrical arts (music, dance, drama),and planning / project management . I had to dig deep and tried really hard to put those down because other things were popping up, things like deco, fashion, the list can go on for days, the point is if you were to put me into any of those fields id make a killing. That is what began my 10 year adventure of finding out, what exactly was my “calling”.   

I’m not the only one, I have a couple of friends who are going through the same battle, some of them where wiser than I because they at least picked one to qualify in, I on the other hand after been once bitten by the evil “B.Com”  was too scared to study the “wrong” thing so I waited. I have one friend who qualified as a CA but she loves writing so much she wanted to quit her job, she does love accounting but …writing… I have one who is qualified as a fashion designer and has an Honours degree in marketing… but music keeps knocking, One of has a battle between writing and music, some are fortunate to have picked one and have the other as a hobby. There are a lot more and all of them are brilliant.

Matthew 25:15-30 says it best, God gave each of us talents, some five, some two and some only got one, so why are the rest of us trying to fit with the one who got one. Can’t we use all the talents given to us? Why are we so conditioned to only use one, I am tired of trying to figure out what is that one, I’ve decided that like the Old doctor I met, I will use all five talents and proudly stand before God and hear Him say, well done Good and Faithful servant. I know it won’t be as easy as people with one or two, but I will work hard to use all five gifts to the best of my ability and I won’t allow anyone to make me shrink when the ask me the dreaded question “so, what do you do?” I will boldly say: Well, where do I start … I’m a writing psychologist who does performing art, teaches and if you need me to put something together for you…ill do that too. Having one thing you specialize in is all good and dandy but I would like to be allowed to be who I am and use all my gifts.

I FIND MYSELF

By Karabo Magabe

I find myself starting to write
But as the words begin to flow
I find myself going back to the beginning
Have I lost the innocence

I find myself reading every line
Is writing becoming commercial
I find myself criticizing my own work
Am I too worried with what people think

I find myself unable to proceed
To even put ink to paper
I find myself thinking beyond the here and now
Where words turn into images

I find myself worried about acceptance
Like writers are never criticised
I find myself being myself again
To comfortable to challenge myself

I find myself and don't like what I see in the mirror
A shadow of who I can be
I find myself at a point where a decision needs to be made
Stuck between possibility and the road everyone has travelled

I find myself starting to write
And the words begin

WOMAN

In August South Africans celebrate Women’s month in honour of women from all backgrounds in South Africa who marched to the then Apartheid union Building in protest to women  not being allowed to own property. So on the 9^th of August every month we celebrate women’s day. That always helps me reflect on great women and what they have done for us and on WOMEN as a whole. Who are Women have always been strange creatures to me; I could never quite comprehend the complexity that is WOMAN. They did not make sense to me, I avoided them at all cost. I believe the women in my life had something to do with that. I found them unkind to say the least so I spent my childhood with men. From as young as I can remember, I was close to my dad and uncles and avoided my mom and aunts as much as I could. I found them unforgiving and judgemental. My dad and uncles were always there for me, always kind and giving, all things the women in my life weren’t.  Their mouths were like poison because whenever they said something, something inside me would die. So I found refuge in the men in my life.  I followed then around everywhere. Even in my adulthood, when I walk into a new place, I look for the “man of peace”. I will spot a man who resembles my dad or uncles and I would go there first, they never disappoint. I always feel safe and free around men and become guarded and insecure What is it about us women that make us so cruel to each other? Why do we see each other as enemies and rivals instead of sisters and comrades? Why can’t we protect each other like men do? Why do we always break each other instead of building each other? My husband and I always joke that men war physically but we war psychologically. A man aims to break another man’s body but we break souls. I speak of myself too. I’ve seen when I’m upset, I am like a vicious lion, I tear at everything in my way mercilessly and destroy everything moving. In proverbs14:1 the bible says “a woman can build her home or tear it up by her own hand” (rephrased). We have the power to build but it seems we choose the latter.  And we wonder why we’d rather be faithful to a cheating man than to each other. A woman would rather go after an unknowing mistress than turn on her unfaithful man. We always see each other as the problem, and we treat each other so badly.

The enemy is also using that to dismantle society because he knows the woman has the power to build or tear down. What kind of woman are you, and what kind am I? This month I’ve been on a prayer campaign for my mouth, that God uses it to build not tear up, to launch a full on psychological healing instead of warfare. That He uses our mouths to bring comfort and love to the world under our care. The Bible says the tongue has the power to build or destroy. God has created us to nurture. The enemy is trying to corrupt that, defile and pervert everything that is woman. Let us not let him deceive us like he deceived Eve; let us not allow him to break the force that is Women.  The curse has been broken over us; the blood of Jesus speaks a better word than we think of us. I am starting with the girl in the mirror. I’m determined to never let the enemy use my mouth to hurt anymore. I choose to use mine to build.  I also choose to renew my mind about women. I choose to let them in, regardless of the pain that might come with it.

As a way to build, we can do so much for each other. There are so many young women who need mentors, so many little girls who need mothers and sisters who will think of them the way God does. If girls would give each other compliments, they would not need to go to lying men. You can do something, you can make a difference. Ps Lisa Bevere opened my mind when she said she wanted to give to the next generation of women what women before us didn’t give us. You can be a Naomi to a little Ruth. All we need to do is use the weapons God gave us - our mouths, our warm embraces, our experiences and our love can build a new generation of women who trust and genuinely love each other. I want to be that woman; I want to build a generation of Proverbs 31 women who do not need to sell themselves short, because they have their sisters’ backing and cheering. I want to be that Woman. I know I can, can you?