SOMETHING BLUE

Have you ever wanted something really bad? Convinced that that is it and you will never want anything else that, you'd put it on everything.Whether it is a spouse, a career or something as simple as a dress.

We sometimes make commitments we are sure are from God, but then something comes along to derail us form God's destiny in our lives. it is like buying one brand of chocolate then after you've paid feel maybe you should have gotten something else... 

 

Well, that is because gold worth keeping will have to go through fire to confirm its authenticity , any decision we make will be tested. We've all been there in one way or another. Here's a poem I wrote about that a couple of months ago after I made one of the biggest decisions in my life.  It is about commitment and having to stick to it, regardless of other offers or sidetracks which come along in life "Something blue" 

SOMETHING BLUE

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue

I know made my choice, the day I said that I do.

Something strange, something fresh, like tomorrow something new

this mind is cluttered with thoughts you?

Something else was in mind, I did not even order that shade

You saw the stale of my old, How else would you dare offer to trade?

What you present is enticing, how did you guess what i craved was that?

What is it that you possess, thieve of attention, so that pride I forget?

Maybe we can play make-believe and pretend for only a time or two

That for that moment you were mine and I belonged to you.

Or maybe steal a day off-time to test the realness

Of the chemistry that evolved from absolute nothingness.

Is there a need to be in reality?

Should I entirely let go of  fantasy

Because it would never happen for the life of me

That I could be she and you  him be.

So for me there’ll be nothing new, only blue

Because I made my choice when I said I do.

GIFTED

A couple of weeks ago I met an interesting old man, interesting is an understatement. First he was the most intelligent and engaging person I’ve ever had the honour to converse with. He seemed to understand absolutely everything about anything, for the first time, I kept quiet and just listened. The man was not only intelligent but wisdom came from every word he spoke and I thought this man was too good to be true. I was already intrigued so he sealed the deal  by cassually mentioning that he had not one, not two but three PHD’s, dude! I’m still dreaming of just one… he then started telling us what he does and how he got to get the three different qualifications, it all had to do with passion, and following his dreams and not allowing circumstances to bring him down, instead they elevated him to the person he now is.

See, when we grow up we are indirectly conditioned to find the ONE thing that we are good at and enjoy , we are groomed to cultivate it and that will be our “calling”. That is all good and proper for those who find that one thing, but what about us, what about people like me who at thirty something are still not sure what that one thing is, because frankly we are good at a lot of things and enjoy every single one of them. I have a lot of passions and if I have to narrow it to five I’d say, literature, education, psychology, theatrical arts (music, dance, drama),and planning / project management . I had to dig deep and tried really hard to put those down because other things were popping up, things like deco, fashion, the list can go on for days, the point is if you were to put me into any of those fields id make a killing. That is what began my 10 year adventure of finding out, what exactly was my “calling”.   

I’m not the only one, I have a couple of friends who are going through the same battle, some of them where wiser than I because they at least picked one to qualify in, I on the other hand after been once bitten by the evil “B.Com”  was too scared to study the “wrong” thing so I waited. I have one friend who qualified as a CA but she loves writing so much she wanted to quit her job, she does love accounting but …writing… I have one who is qualified as a fashion designer and has an Honours degree in marketing… but music keeps knocking, One of has a battle between writing and music, some are fortunate to have picked one and have the other as a hobby. There are a lot more and all of them are brilliant.

Matthew 25:15-30 says it best, God gave each of us talents, some five, some two and some only got one, so why are the rest of us trying to fit with the one who got one. Can’t we use all the talents given to us? Why are we so conditioned to only use one, I am tired of trying to figure out what is that one, I’ve decided that like the Old doctor I met, I will use all five talents and proudly stand before God and hear Him say, well done Good and Faithful servant. I know it won’t be as easy as people with one or two, but I will work hard to use all five gifts to the best of my ability and I won’t allow anyone to make me shrink when the ask me the dreaded question “so, what do you do?” I will boldly say: Well, where do I start … I’m a writing psychologist who does performing art, teaches and if you need me to put something together for you…ill do that too. Having one thing you specialize in is all good and dandy but I would like to be allowed to be who I am and use all my gifts.

I FIND MYSELF

By Karabo Magabe

I find myself starting to write
But as the words begin to flow
I find myself going back to the beginning
Have I lost the innocence

I find myself reading every line
Is writing becoming commercial
I find myself criticizing my own work
Am I too worried with what people think

I find myself unable to proceed
To even put ink to paper
I find myself thinking beyond the here and now
Where words turn into images

I find myself worried about acceptance
Like writers are never criticised
I find myself being myself again
To comfortable to challenge myself

I find myself and don't like what I see in the mirror
A shadow of who I can be
I find myself at a point where a decision needs to be made
Stuck between possibility and the road everyone has travelled

I find myself starting to write
And the words begin